When Life Ain't Perfect

 

Hello and welcome! I realize I have been on a long blogging hiatus. After a lot of busyness on the home front, I struggled for quite awhile with my old friend Perfectionism. I could say I had writer's block. But really, I didn't feel like I had that perfect thing to share with anyone. Then I had hiccups with my camera, so I couldn't, you know, take that perfect picture if I ever did come up with a post. But I've missed writing and interacting with you all, and have been feeling a stronger and stronger tug on my heart to just. start. up. again. already! So, here I am! If you are new here, welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here at my little corner of the internet. If you do, please consider hitting the Follow button over on the sidebar. If you are a returning visitor, welcome back! And thank you for your patience with me. 😉

A world of chaos?

I also realize I've returned to blogging in the middle of a world-wide pandemic. I pray you are all doing well! Please let me know if you have any prayer requests in the comments below. I would be happy to pray for you, and I would love it if we could all pray for each other!

There have been quite a few changes around my home. My oldest has temporarily moved back in until things have leveled off. My Hubby is an essential employee at both his full-time and part-time jobs, one being a first responder. That in itself presents a whole new level of precautions and prayers in our home. Especially since I myself am in what is considered the "high risk" category, being diabetic and having an autoimmune disease.

It has not been easy, but I have found a few ways to find peace in the midst of all of this chaos.

How I make my home a haven for my family in the midst of a troubled time

• Prioritize your focus! I'm not gonna lie. Last month, I started losing my focus on Jesus. There was so much going on, so much information (and disinformation) coming in, so many things to do, adjustments to make. I started losing sight of the One that was needed more than anything else. While I was keeping up on my Bible schedule, I came to realize that that's pretty much all I was doing. Keeping up. Checking it off the list. So I could move on to the next thing. I became weary, exhausted, both in body and spirit. When I realized (finally!) what was happening, I asked the Lord to help me bring back my focus to where it needs to be. I now wake up in the morning excited again to spend time with my Father. And I am definitely feeling His peace again.
  
• Love on and care for my Hubby. His already hefty jobs just got heftier. Plus, with my being high risk, he has taken on the task of going out to get things when we need them. I always try and make sure I'm taking care of our home and family in a way that will lighten his load, while making sure I still have more than enough energy for him when he finally walks in the door at night. Now, I'm trying to be even more diligent. I'm definitely not perfect, but I'm keeping GRACE in my mind and on my heart.
  
• Routines! Oh, these are so, so important right now! I think it was a little before Christmas or Thanksgiving of last year that I jumped back in hard core to the Flylady method. And I am still going! Not 100% perfect at being consistent, but most of my morning and evening routines are automatic by now. Which is great, because it brings a sense of stability to our home life. Even though we are in a time where we can't have guests into our home, I still try to keep things "guest ready." Except now, I say that it's "family ready!" With my routines on autopilot, I do it without even thinking about it.

Make your haven a place to relax!

With the exception of not being able to go places, not much has changed in our homeschool. I do relax on it at times right now, however. Some days, we all have the energy to speed along. Other days, it's more like we have to chip away at it. And some days, we just plain need a brain break. I really think God is using this time to show me that our homeschool doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing. There's a flow that is unique to each family, and it is GOOD to go with it!

Besides school, it seems like everyone in my family is really learning more to enjoy each other's company. And at the same time, respect each other's space when it's needed. I really believe these times are also making us more thankful for so many things we have previously taken for granted.

How are YOU doing?

I would love to hear below some good things happening in your life, in general, or maybe specifically because of having to shelter in place. I also welcome prayer requests and I would love us all to be praying for each other!

Thank you, friends, for stopping by and reading! I hope you all have a blessed Easter weekend!

Humble Pie

So, I decided to participate in Amy's 3rd Annual S.H.M.I.L.Y. for 30 Days of Prayer.  I have the book The Power of a Praying Wife and have read (and prayed!) through it before.  I have been wanting to do it again, so I figured this must have been a nudge.  ;-)  Little did I know that on the very first day, God would dish me up a piece of humble pie.  I really should have known better.  The first step, after all, in praying for your husband, is praying for his wife.  :-)

I've never been perfect at the whole submission thing, although I am very passionate about biblical marriage because I have experienced first hand how things go when you do them God's way.  I have also experienced first hand how things can go when you don't do things God's way, but that's another post.  Wait, maybe not.

Seriously, though, I really do try to follow God's plan, because I REALLY like how my life is when I do!  Some days I try harder than others.  Well, lately, I'm ashamed to say, has been one of those times.  There's this one issue that I've really been "kicking against the goads" with my hubby lately.  It would already be bad enough if it was something that I "knew" he was in the wrong on (*cough*), but this is something I KNOW he's right about.  And I KNEW I was wrong for fighting the issue.  Ugh.

If you go to this post of Amy's, scroll down a little and take note of Stormie's conversation with God, the one that starts with, "Do you see the way he is, Lord?"  Yep, God used that one to get to me.  With HIS help, I was able to let go of this struggle TODAY and fall back in line with my husband's lead.  And I'll tell you something...what a relief!  I feel like a brick wall has been lifted off of my shoulders...my heart once again feels like it's in the right place.  :-)

Yes, change ME, Lord.

Renewed Goals: Wifely Habits

Yes, I realize it has taken me forever to get to this post.  I had a post all written up, but I was suffering from writer's block and it seemed so vague and ramble-y (if that wasn't already a word, it is now!).  So, I decided to think and pray on it a bit more and start fresh when I've been away from it for a few days.

Hmmm...wifely habits.  I'm not sure why I have such a hard time writing about this subject.  I can spend all day talking about it with a woman who is honestly seeking out my advice on the topic.  But when it comes to writing about it without any prompts, I'm never sure which direction to take.  Maybe it's because even though the Lord has given me a passion for biblical marriage, I just don't feel worthy to be actually instructing on it, you know?  While the Lord has shown me many things and has done many miracles over the last few years, I am certainly no expert.  But then again, that could be a good thing.  :)  Not to mention, the purpose of this post is not necessarily instruct, per se. But rather, to think "out loud" about goals for my part in how I want to improve my behavior in my marriage this year.  And hopefully, they will inspire anyone reading this to do the same.

While I have come a long way since the day I got married (believe me, I was a young and immature bride!), there is still so much for me to learn and so much more room for improvement!  I kept writing, deleting, and re-writing different goals I had wanted to focus on, but as I think and pray on this, I simply come to the model of the Proverbs 31 woman.  I certainly won't bore you with starting the study over from the beginning, but my goal this year is to shore up those character traits that I've already covered here on this blog, and then continue with the study to the finish.  I know I can never perfectly BE the Proverbs 31 wife.  But, I want to memorize that section, have it written on my heart and meditate on it, and use it as a springboard for my goals.

¹⁰Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

 ¹¹The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

 ¹²She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

 ¹³She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

 ¹⁴She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

 ¹⁵She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

 ¹⁶She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

 ¹⁷She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

 ¹⁸She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

 ¹⁹She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

 ²⁰She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

 ²¹She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

 ²²She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

 ²³Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

 ²⁴She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

 ²⁵Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

 ²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

 ²⁷She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

 ²⁸Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

 ²⁹Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

 ³⁰Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

 ³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.  ~Proverbs 31:10-31

I can sit here and write goals all day, but in the end, I know that God knows best, and it's in His word that I find exactly what I need.

On Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman Part 1a

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
~Proverbs 31:11 KJV

I thought I was done working on this point, but as it turns out, I wasn't. One thing I didn't really touch on is, when your husband's out at work, can he trust you to keep his castle running smoothly? As far as housework goes, my husband could really care less about how the house looks (although, as a side note, he said he *does* notice a better overall feeling when the house is clean ;) ). But there are two things that are a big deal for him: meals, and having a shirt pressed and ready every work day. And, ironically, when I'm in a motivational slump, those are the two things I slack on the most.

Right now, we are at a major turn with our finances (for the good!). My husband has never liked going out much for meals, but especially now when we're at this point. It adds to his stress when he has to dig up himself a lunch for work or when he has to think about going out and spending money at the local fast food joint. It's a big pet peeve for him when I'm not on top of meals around here. So, I need to make sure that he can trust in the fact that he will always have good meals not only at home, but also that he will have a good meal packed and ready for work.

Also, my husband does work a lot, and he has a pretty high-stress job. It is not mandatory for his job, but he will not wear non-pressed shirts to work...it's just part of his work ethic that his uniforms are always clean and pressed. I feel bad when I get behind on the ironing to the point where he has to ask me to do it. And I know it adds a little stress to him to *have* to ask me.

My husband works hard in order for me to stay home and take care of our house and family. He gets enough stress from his job, without having to worry about whether or not I'm doing mine. My philosophy is to try and make things as easy on him as possible once he punches out at work. If there's something around the house that I can do, I need to be taking care of it, and not putting it off until he has to say something.

Find whatever it takes to motivate yourself to get things done. Sometimes for me, it's as simple as making sure I'm taking my MS medication when I'm supposed to. I have noticed that if I skip a day or two, my motivation to do my job takes a pretty steep dive and my cognitive skills dip, too (aka, I turn into an airhead ;) ). Some days I need to pray more and ask God for motivation. Then I remember that every little thing I do for my husband, kids, and home gives God glory. That is a huge motivating factor right there! Another good motivator is to just work on being thankful...for EVERYthing. Even if you have to make a conscious, forced effort at first, it WILL come naturally if you just practice being thankful ALL the time!

So, tonight I'm off to iron, and hopefully by tomorrow, I will have a menu plan done for the rest of this week and next. I do plan to post my menus here, so stay tuned for that! :)

Lisa

On Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman Part 1

¹⁰Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
¹¹The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
¹²She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
¹³She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
¹⁴She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
¹⁵She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
¹⁶She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
¹⁷She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
¹⁸She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
¹⁹She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
²⁰She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
²¹She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
²²She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
²³Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
²⁴She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
²⁵Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
²⁹Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
³⁰Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:10-31 (KJV)

It has been on my heart for awhile to do some sort of a series on the Proverbs 31 woman. I am a long way from these standards, to be sure, but I think God put this (among many other things) in scripture to kind of give a vision to us wives and mothers on what our life should look like. While I realize this is not a checklist, I would like to go through the various characteristics of this ideal as I work on becoming the woman God wants me to be. I don't want to say I will focus on one per week, because there may be some things I want/need to focus on, or touch on more, or maybe even less. For now, let's just say I will be working on one characteristic at a time. :) Feel free to join me and comment/discuss your experiences!

The first characteristic in the Proverbs 31 woman is found in verses 11-12.
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

Ah, I have such a long way to go in this, but this is so much easier for me than it used to be. I believe these 2 verses are a good summary of all God wants us to be in regards of being a wife. This covers so many areas! It all comes down to, can your husband fully trust you to do him good and not evil, ALWAYS? Not only on the surface, but in your heart and attitude as well? When he's not around, are you STILL doing him good and not evil? Are you making sure you are careful what you talk about to others? HOW you talk about your husband to others? If you have issues with the way he's doing things, are you making sure to not only go to HIM (instead of friends or family) about it, but also going to him *respectfully*? Are you honoring and reverencing your husband the way God wants us to be? Are you *bringing* him honor? One thing I used to be in a bad habit of (mostly before I was saved), was joining in on the poking fun of him with family and friends. Not behind his back, but when he was there, and he was good-natured about it. BUT, it was usually putting him into the category of what most of society thinks of men today, and looking back it was just not cool. Even if he wasn't directly hurt by it, here's the deal. Since we've been saved, my husband has told me numerous times that next to God, MY opinion of him is the only one that counts as far as he is concerned. Us wives have so much influence on how our husbands view themselves. When we were married, we became one flesh...that is a huge thing! One is truly affected by pretty much everything the other does. If I keep poking fun at my husband's very character, even if it IS just in fun, that is still going to eventually wear on his confidence, especially his confidence in what kind of a husband and father he is.

Does this mean we cannot have any disagreements? Of course it doesn't! It just means that when we do, we bring it up respectfully and *submissively*. Ooooh, now THERE'S a word that's controversial to utter, isn't it? I may touch more on submission this week, since I think that's a big part of of the kind of wife the Proverbs 31 woman is, but for now I will continue with our husbands trusting in their wives.

Ephesians 5:33 says, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

God knows what each of us needs! He commands husbands to *love* their wives, and he commands wives to *reverence* their husbands. Yes, we both need love and respect, but in the relationship structure men NEED respect like women NEED love. Giving your husband respect IS showing him love! If you don't respect your husband, anything else you do to try to "show" him love will mean absolutely nothing to him.

I almsot feel like this was a rambling post, but I'm going to leave it. :) As I said earlier this characteristic covers such broad area in regards to being a wife to your husband, and I'd never be able to cover everything. I just thought I'd share what personal experiences stick out in my mind, and what's on my heart. As I said, feel free to comment and start a discussion, or just share your thoughts. As a forewarning, any disrespectful comments will be deleted. I do have a family and a home to take care of, so I don't have time to debate something that's already set in stone for me and for many others, as I'm sure they'd agree. Respectful discussion is fine, but this is MY blog, and if I deem something to be disrespectful, it WILL be deleted.

And speaking of taking care of family, my youngest is clearly ready for bed. ;)

Lisa

S.H.M.I.L.Y. 30 Days of Prayer for our Husbands

Amy over at Dandelion Seeds has organized a group over at Facebook for using "The Power of a Praying Wife" to pray for our husbands during the month of June. She already has over 600 wives committed to praying for their husbands, including me. :) Won't you join us?

Lisa